we're blogging at a bar
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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