Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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