I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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