I'd wear matching sweaters with you
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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