My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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