You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize