I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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