Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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