i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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