We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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