i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize