Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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