He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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