I am puke
i think my mom watched the whole time
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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