i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize