dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize