she's into porn, im staying here tonight
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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