I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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