I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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