there's paper in my vomit.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize