I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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