Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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