YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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