The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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