Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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