I feel like abortions should bother me more
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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