Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They took my balls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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