So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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