no, he came in my armpit
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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