I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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