he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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