you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize