# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I AM VODKA MAN
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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