I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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