im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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