wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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