I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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