I'm so fucking centered right now
she peed on how many people?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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