I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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