Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize