Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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