somebody snuck up and got me drunk
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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