I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize