Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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