U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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