Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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