Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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