there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize