I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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