I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize